How To Say I Love You

Self-love especially is on my mind this morning following a beautiful heart to heart with a dear friend of mine. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming to stomach the violence, suffering and ignorance happening across the world and even in our own backyards (or, inside our own minds). It can feel like there’s never enough I can do to make it right, to make a measurable impact, to really help. But then again, how do we measure? What are our grounds for comparison? The Civil Rights movement?

Maybe we can’t see change happening when we’re in it so much as in hindsight. And maybe as it’s happening, we feel like it’s happening super slowly, almost annoyingly so. My take on it? Again and again it’s been shown to me how simple this life thing is. We’re here to love and be love – to love ourselves and one another. That’s it. And really, I think that’s what we’re all made of anyways. Pure love and light. All the other stuff is just cloudy conditioning we pick up along the way to protect ourselves, to put walls up, to be the thing that society tells us to be, to fit in, and on goes the list. You know what I mean.

So without going on too much longer, I’ll offer this simple meditation that’s helped transform my whole attitude towards this mushy gushy love stuff in some seriously (healing) deep ways. It’s called Metta meditation and it’s all about spreading love, which has to start with you first – because how can we give something we haven’t got? #InsideJob

You can even do this for just a few minutes and I’m certain you’ll reap some major benefits:

  1. Find a comfy position where you can rest peacefully for a few minutes, set a timer if its helpful for you to not think about time, even if it’s just for a minute.
  2. Start by taking some deep breaths, counting on the inhale and exhale, becoming aware of your body as it starts to feel perhaps a bit heavier and relaxed.
  3. Gently start to repeat the phrase in your mind, “May I be peaceful.” Repeat this again and again, and notice how you don’t have space in your mind to think other thoughts.
  4. Focus on the feeling of peace and love for yourself – that you deserve to feel these feelings. What does love feel like? What is the quality in your body love and peace bring about? Focus in on this sensory experience while repeating the phrase.
  5. That might be all you need to feel a shift, just a few minutes of repetition. If you’d like to switch it up, however, you can alter the phrase just slightly to “May all beings be peaceful.” Bring to mind the image of all beings – your family, your friends, your roommates, any groups and organizations past, present and future you’re a part of. Imagine them all as peaceful and loved, and taken care of no matter what. What does this feel like in your body – this feeling of loving everyone else around you? Maybe you feel more connected to the world as a whole. Maybe the lines of separation have already started to blur.

You can get fancy with this and break the meditation up into more levels but this is a good starting point. Start from where you are. I recommend checking out Insight Timer as an awesome accompaniment. OH HAY just got this sent to me, perfect timing: A Loving-Kindness Practice for Self-Acceptance. #GuidedMediMagic

Fall Magic Making (+ things to definitely PEEP):

  • Check out my Support is Sexy podcast interview on Redefining + Rediscovering Your Magic
  • Ready to manifest everything your heart desires? ALWAYS! I was SO moved by Gabby Bernstein‘s Art of Manifestation talk a few weeks back, I purchased it! Have a listen, and please let me know what you think! This is the kind of thing you re-listen to, ya know?
  • Read: Becoming A Wholehearted Leader by my fave CEO + friend Rama Poola (founder of SkyHoppr, all around magic maker, fantastic person, expert culinary artist, dance machine)
  • Delicious recipes from friend, yoga instructor and wellness expert Emily Nachazel
  • IIN Health Coaching Program – OMG I’m graduating from my year-long educational adventure with IIN in a few weeks – certified holistic health coach, that’s me! Love this program, let me know if you’re interested and I can help hook you up w/ some sweet discounts.
  • City Wellness Collective – new space opening in Chelsea for holistic healing practitioners, created by healers!
  • Reboot Workshop – 9/10: A day long workshop focused on education challenges in our community and the world at large. A blend of short-format, Ignite-style talks with “unconference” breakout sessions to focus on topics proposed by the audience.
  • TEDx NYC – 9/10: It’s sold out but I’LL BE THERE! Dream life!!! Expect a full report soon after, have literally dreamed of attending one of these since FOREVER.
  • The Get Down – 9/22: COME PARTY + get into the high vibe dance life ❤
  • Daybreaker – 9/21: Decompression dance party on the roof – HELLO SUNSHINE ❤
  • True. Paid. Good. Summit – 10/1: Awesome conference hosted by Move the Crowd, can’t wait for this day of inspiration and magical networking with conscious creators and change-makers!
  • Ladies Who Launch (UWIB @ Twitter) – 10/5: The United Women in Business Foundation is partnering with SWAT (Super Women at Twitter) for a moderated panel of diverse female founders sharing their founding stories – success, challenges and all!
  • Startup Island friend’s agency has a UX/UI school! AWESOME is the agency, here is the signup for the school (also home to a new, cool co-working spot [for designers] in Soho called The Loft).

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So, tell me, what’s at least one thing you can do today to make sure you’re putting yourself first? To show yourself that you’re the most important person in your life? To tell yourself, hey, I love you, yes you, beautiful soul.

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It used to be so hard for me to even think that to myself let alone say it. But with practice and taking some small steps along the way, suddenly I am totally in love. Looking back, someone’s recommendation to take at least one night of the week off for self-care (like a bath, or cooking dinner, or getting a massage) ended up being absolutely revolutionary in my own evolution and healing. Sometimes (or maybe most of the time) the simplest things can make the biggest impacts.

2 thoughts on “How To Say I Love You

  1. Thanks for the post, Sydney! I woke up this morning early from my 5 year old son after staying up too late last night following my bliss, live music. The first thing I did was tell myself I loved myself, because my body needed to hear that in that moment. Self-love has not always come easy for me, actually it was meditation and Pema Chodron that really taught me how to how myself and helped me realize how I wasn’t before. After I dropped my son off for school this morning, I took myself to a new to me yoga studio for some heated flow. This was my way of putting myself first. Well, after I got my son to school. 🙂

    • Thank you so much for your note, I’m SO grateful to know what I wrote resonated with you and that you’re taking such amazing care of yourself. Sounds like you’ve gone through some incredible transformation when it comes to self-love, which is truly revolutionary. I want to get more into Pema Chodron, I hear amazing things about her writing. You are beautiful, I’m so happy to connect with you! ❤

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