Let’s face it: you know within five minutes of talking to someone if you’re on the same page and if you ever want to see the person again. I think that’s the truth of it. I’ve had so many interviews and conversations the past few months I swear I’d make a stellar career search consultant (seriously could be an epic side hustle). Dating analogies aside, which totally work for job searching by the way, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned has to do with finding your tribe or the people you choose to join forces with.
People often write to-do lists to get organized, but have you ever crafted a to-be list? Use this tool to define what ideals and traits you seek to embody. Use it as a guide in determining relationship standards in your personal and professional livelihoods. I have and the benefits are immense. Approach your vocation and professional cohorts like you would your dearest friends. You’ll be spending a lot of time together after all.
It all comes down to the people. You can work for the coolest, trendiest company and have a stellar, super prestigious title but if you can’t connect with the people you work with on a genuine level you won’t come close to feeling happy or fulfilled. When you connect with people you sense you have a lot to learn from, who you admire and respect, whose feedback you will take seriously, who you’re not afraid to approach with challenging questions—look no further, you’ve found your in.
As far as my ideals go, I stay on the prowl for people who embody the traits that I too strive to emanate:
- Make direct eye contact
- Honest communicator
- Not afraid to ask difficult questions
- Genuine caring attitude
- Engaged and dedicated in work aspirations/projects
- Clearly communicate values and purpose
- Help others achieve growth and success
- Positive attitude that empowers other people to thrive
- Collaborative and approachable
Simple enough, right? Ideals aren’t supposed to be perfect rules. They are simple guidelines for growth. The kind of change I seek for my engrained tendencies and attitudes can sometimes feel slow but as long as I keep striving for growth, I’m on the right path.
I can’t help but admit that I often want it all. At least that’s how I seem to self-propel through the day. I’m applying to jobs that I think I’m qualified for and know I can do well at, but I wonder if the person on the receiving end is on the same page. I’ll never know how other people truly perceive me. And maybe that doesn’t matter so much as how I perceive myself. Perhaps the way I think about myself will emulate through my actions and interactions with others. Ghandi’s “be the change you wish to see in the world” comes to mind.
I want to make music, but I’ve never recorded anything or composed a song. I played piano for years but after not practicing for a decade I get down on myself every time I try to revisit the old repertoire and barely scratch the surface of a full song. I’ve always wanted to DJ but I don’t know where to start. Curating fabulous Spotify and Soundcloud (this song is amazing) playlists is as far as I’ve gotten. I want to take dance class every day and learn about dance traditions from across the world. I want to run a half marathon and spend almost everyday running a training program with my eyes on the prize. It feels so good to work towards something and to feel growth along the way, whether tangible, physical growth, emotional or spiritual. I want to grow my career as an amazingly talented consultant, strategist and maybe even event producer. I don’t want to just create the concert festival series no one has ever imagined before, I want to produce it and bring it all over the world and change the way people think about expression, art, dance and community.
I often feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day. But when I sit quietly with myself (sometimes I really need to when I feel the world spinning), I wonder if maybe I’ve already done everything I’ve wanted to do. There may be some destinations on my travel to-do list, but other than that, when I consider my accomplishments, none of them are truly material. My accomplishments are growth in fantastic relationships, an inner-peace I can sometimes really tap into and true passion for helping others and experiencing genuine connections. Then a revolutionary concept occurred to me: maybe, just maybe, I already have it all.